Trying it again

OK, I'm back but I'm going to do this differently.

I've totally given up on the low carb. I just couldnt seem to get going again and was spirialling further and further down. When I topped out at 229 again I confessed to my husband that I just didnt even want to try anymore. And he said OK, but when you are ready to go again let me know so I can be there to help.
I considered his words and did some research. About a week later I told him I was ready to do thing differently.... and I started talking to him about my discoveries.

I've looked at some low calorie diets and foods and decided I could do this easier. I might not loose weight as fast as low carb, but I could eat more food and possiblies.

I've created an account on Calorie Count Plus, very similar to fit day, and started looking up food.
Right now I'm in a nice little routine of Oatmeal in the moring, a lean cuisine meal at lunch and a small dinner, trying to fit a salad in there, and using fruit for a morning snack and Popcorn for an afternoon snack and a scoop of icecream for bedtime snack...and can you believe it...I'm staying under or just at 1200 cal. As of this morning I'm back down to 220, and seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

Insanity

It's crazy.... I know how to do this...I really do. I've done it before, right so what is the problem?!

I'm holding steady at 215. I just had a major health scare because I went to my DD softball game on a lovely 113 degree day and unable to avoid sitting in the sun drank as much water as I could, while pouring water on myself and DD during field changes...anyways long story short I ended up with what I assumed was Heat Exhaustion. So I pumped the water and tried to stay cool over the next few days but after the third day of such and intense headache and the inability to sleep, which NEVER happens to me, I headed to the DR office. Well my BP was 210/150. He was gravely concerned so he gave me some BP meds and had me lay down until my BP came down, then he sent me home with rest and no heat, not even swimming pool instructions for the weekend. Upon returning to his office on Monday he thought he heard a murmur, something that he had never heard before, and being my Dr for 10 years he sent me to a Cardiologist. I went there on this last Monday. Needless to say I had two weeks of major worrying and a few bouts of crying scared for the unknown, however I'm happy to report that I have a very strong heart with no detectable problems. I follow up with my GP on Tuesday and hopefully he will consider working me off the BP meds since this is probably a result of the heat exhaustion/stroke that I got at the softball game. whew but definitely an eye opener! and I know I MUST get this weight off.
SO what do to? What would be the best way to approach this? I've been considering going off the Atkins because the harder I try to get on board, the faster and harder I fall off.
I've gain great power over the last year because I have discovered and admitted to myself and all that I am a binge eater. I feel that has given me great power because now I recognize when it is happening.
Right now I'm trying to stick with good live foods for my meals, a little something I learned from doing the 21 lbs in 21 days diet. I've been eating lots of fruits and veggies, doing salads for lunch and a light dinner. I need to pick up on exercising again, now that I've been given the all clear to move again... I don't know what to do... what do you think?

Getting Back on Track

Ok, well it’s been too long again. I’ve been suffering from the “I don’t wanna’s”. I don’t want to diet, I don’t want to be fat, I don’t want to exercise… you get the idea. Not a great place to be nor very productive. So I’ve used up all the excuses, I’ve got a job again and established a reliable routine, went through the 15 birthdays we have had from April through June 5th, 5 of which were in celebrated in my home complete with cake and ice cream. And now I’m faced with a trip coming up in 2 months, one that I really don’t want to be 217lbs or more.
My DH has been staying strong he has been slowly moving down and is holding at about a 95lb loss! I’m so proud of him. He has been strong through my weakness and he has been encouraging to me through these dark few months.
But I’m ready again. I started back on track June 2nd, my birthday. We celebrated it on Sunday and Monday I started back on low carb. I was at 217lb and saw some weight gain from my weekend transgressions on Tuesday and Wednesday, this morning I woke up and was back to 217. I’ve been pretty good with the exception of some carb smart ice cream at night. I know I will have to wean myself off that to be successful, but for now I’m using it as a focal point, I hope by the end of next week I’ll be able to back away from it.

I’ve not be participating in many of the Low Carb forums that exists. I belong to lowcarbfriends, livin la Vida Locarb, and Camp Carbaway. The one I have liked best so far has been Camp Carbaway, to my shock, but I think it was really created to get away from some of the LowCarb negativity that has surrounded some of the other forums and the anger surrounding the Kimkins Crap. Believe it or not, Camp Carbaway was started by one of the former Kimkins supporters who has had an incredible amount of hate directed toward her. I joined knowing that but I wanted to see for myself and I have encountered a really really great bunch of people, completely supportive and it really doesn’t seem that there is any finger pointing or blame shame game going on, which I have seen in the other forums.

Anyway, my time has been getting sucked up by the new schedules. Sometimes I feel like I don’t get a chance to think until 8pm at night. I up at 5:30 and boom boom boom, get kids up, dressed and out the door to school then to work, off work at 4:30, home with kids by 5:15 eat, bath visit for like 30 minutes then my son goes to bed at 7pm and my daughter follows at 8pm….whew. So I’ve been working at getting a lot of the food I need ready to go so it’s just a matter of grab and go. We cook up a bunch of chicken breast on the grill on the weekend. I throw them in the freeze, one to a sandwich bag so I can just grab one at a time. My favorite has been a chicken breast cut in half long ways, with some laughing cow cheese sliced thin and put in the middle and some cheddar cheese sprinkled on top. Maybe a dab of ranch, Yum, like 3-4 carbs depending on how much ranch.

Happy 2008

Sorry, I've not posted in so long, like over a month! I was just so very very busy over the holidays. We had a great Holiday! The best ever for me! I had off from work the Thursday before Christmas until the 31st and I TOTALLY enjoyed it. I tried to be good but definitely relaxed my diet, decided that I would get back at it again after the 1st. I was pretty proud of my 50lbs since July. I figured I might gain back 10...and was trying to be OK with that. So as of January 2nd I was only up 5 lbs... not bad...I was please so I got back to it...and failed, and failed and failed. I ended up restarting about 3 times unsuccessfully. It was really hard to get back on track after so much cheating, and I guess not gaining a really big number wasn't enough to scare me back on track...so after my new size 16 jeans got tight at 208.8lbs, I got scared and got back on Track. That was only last Saturday the 19th! I planned a fast for that day. I originally was just going to do meat only all day, but I didn't trust myself. So I reverted to a liquid fast, water, and an Atkins shake if it got too bad. I made it until 5pm with just water and one shake, when DH and I talked about what was going on with me, because of course I didn't keep him in the loop of my shameful spiral. He asked why I was doing the fast, thought it seemed more like I was punishing myself and I agreed. I felt like I was punishing myself for not being able to control myself. I decided to break the fast and have dinner. I had a chicken breast and some cheese.

I've been cheat free since Saturday and got down to 205 even again, now onwards. I've joined a challenge at my support forum to loose 10 lbs by Valentines day, well I join that like 2 weeks ago so I don't know if I will make it.
I told DH I need to get away from some of these Low carb products like Carbquik and s/f candy. I think they are triggering me to cheat, or binge.

DH is doing great, he has decided to try to get to 220 by July and he is at 245, I'm sure he will make it. I would like to get to 150 by July, and I'm at 205...will be hard but if I can stay on track I think it is possible. I secretly kind of hope that such a prolong cheat will help my metabolism kick back in to gear...and I will see a little bit more rapid weight loss.

On a happy note, I've noticed my hair is finally feeling thick again. I do not think I'm loosing nearly what I was. The biotin seems to be helping. :D